Insider/Outsider

Although today I feel like an insider in the Mexican culture, there was point in my life when I also felt like an outsider. This was during my early teenage years. I felt like an insider because I was born into the culture and identified myself as Mexican. However, when my mom started taking me to Mexican parties I felt I didn't belong there; I felt like an outsider. When the music started playing, I would see the people around me get up and head to the dancefloor. They really seeemed to enjoy themselves, and all I could think was: "How can these people seem so happy, if that music sucks; It's so annoying!" So I would just sit there with a frown and pray that my mom would get as bored as me and decide to leave. However, after repeated exposure to the music and the dancing, I slowly but surely began to embrace the musical aspect of my Mexican culture. Now I love it!

A more current example of me feeling like an insider and and outsider simultaneously would be when I go home and gather with my cousins on my dad's side of the family. I feel like an insider because I am part of the family, I feel accepted, I belong to their age group, and I feel comfortable around them. However, at the same time I feel like an outsider because they're not going to college (so they are unable to relate to me in that sense); and they like to drink a lot (I just like a single drink, if any). Despite these differences, the insider part allows me to enjoy my family and have a good time with them.